I Don't Like Cricket.

This morning Hubby was on morning shift. It was dark and I was trying to dress quietly because Lacey was asleep in our bed. As many mothers will know it's much easier to get dressed without a little one at your feet begging to be held. Keeping her asleep was of vital importance.

I had grabbed my jeans from the clothes line and had started putting them on. I felt something sharp inside as I pulled them up to my waist. It was uncomfortable so I pulled them back down to inspect what was going on. I wasn't sure what to expect. A stick. A sewing needle. Something sharp.

Inside my jeans was a cricket. An insect. Big. Ugly. Capable of jumping. At any moment.

I couldn't get those jeans off any faster. All I wanted to do was scream. Loud screams. Loud girly screams. But keeping Lacey sleeping was more important.

I kicked the jeans away. The cricket jumped away. I was left feeling violated and disgusted. That cricket had been on me. Ick.

It jumped into the bathroom and hasn't been seen since. I don't know where it is. I don't want to know where it is. I want to pretend that it found it's own way back outside. But really, I know it didn't.

Reality is that it's probably hiding inside my towel. The next time I grab it it'll jump back on me and freak me out again.

The funny thing is was that I was very brave this morning. If Hubby had been home I can guarantee there would have been screams and shrills. Waking Lacey wouldn't have crossed my mind. When I'm home alone I'm brave. I remove spiders. I kill cockroaches. I do it all. It's nice to feel like the princess saved by her handsome prince. I don't need to be brave when he is around. I have him to do that.

Until we find that cricket. I'm peeing with one eye open. I'm not moving anything. I'm leaving the door open. I know it's just a cricket. But it's a cricket capable of jumping. At any moment. And most probably on me. xx

Image : Flickr

I heart Easter.

This will be Lacey's first Easter. She's too young for chocolate so I have been searching through Etsy for something small, cute and kitsch to give her instead. Here are some of my finds.

tweetlebluebirddesigns

goosegreaseundone

EmmaLeesBoutique

sweetandlight

astashtoys

FantasticToys

AllisonBean

KcSoapsNMore

GooderGoods

SarahLamont

Silence is Golden.

I am sitting awake at 5am. I could be sleeping. I don't want to.

I think I have now caught up on all my sleep. Lacey is pretty good now. She stirs throughout the night, but doesn't need resettling. (We - well I - ended up giving in and letting her sleep with us - that's another post, another day).

Before Baby (a time also known as B.B.) I would get up early in the morning, alone. Hubby would still be sleeping, and that was my me time.

I do need to recharge. At work there is never silence. There are 4 little voices chattering away constantly. I love it. That's a good part of why I love my job. That constant energy and conversation.

Sydney is such a crazy, fast-paced place to live.

So when I could grab those moments of solitude before the rest of the world had really woken up, I grabbed them, and I loved them. Most mornings I'd go for a walk down on the beach before the sun had risen.

On the weekends though, I'd be indulgent. Camp out in front of the TV. Laptop in lap. Pyjamas still on. Crazy bed hair happening. Me time.

Do you know how rare it is to have the remote in this house? Control of the TV? Rare. Almost extinct. I freaking need a degree for our remote anyhow. It's complicated.

Do you know how good the TV is at 5am in the morning? There are reruns on Foxtel. Rage on ABC. I love it.

Hubby is away all week competing in Perth with the Surf Club. (They're doing really well. Today is a tough day, but I hope, hope, hope they get through).

Lil Sis came and stayed last night. I said she was welcome to sleep in bed with Lacey if she liked. She was soooo excited and jumped at the chance. I slept for the first time ever on the couch. I give it the thumbs up. Comfy.

So here I am. In the dark. Grabbing this rare moment of solitude. Recharging my me battery. I feel so peaceful. So content.

Small things amuse small minds. I tells ya. Small things. xx

EtsyPrint.

Questions. Questions.

Question: What was the last thing you lost?

Photo : Flickr

Answer Me.

Question: How do you cure hiccups?

Photo : Flickr

Question.

Question: Have you ever been thrown out of a nightclub?

Photo / Flickr

Question. Answer.

Question: What are you particularly good at?

Photo : Flickr

Question.

Question: What's the biggest mistake you've ever made?

Photo / Flickr.

I ask you.

Question: What are you looking forward to at the moment?

Photo : Flickr

Question Time.

Another question: How many times have you been in love?

Photo : Flickr

Time for another question.

Today's question: You win lottery - What is your first purchase?

Photo : Flickr

Questionable.

Today's question: Who's the most famous person you've ever met?

Photo : Flickr

Can I ask you another personal question?

I have a busy, busy week ahead so I am going to continue with the interrogations all week. It was great to read everyone's responses yesterday. I hope the sharing continues.

Today's question: What are you proud of?

Photo: Flickr

Can I ask you a personal question?

I have this great little book titled Can I ask you a personal question?

I love prying into the lives of others and finding out all the nitty gritty on them.

So I am asking you readers, lurker, smirkers and whoever else is out there... Can I ask you a personal question? I am going to flick through the book, pick a random question and ask you to respond in the comments with your answer. It will take two seconds and entertain me all day. Hopefully.

The question today is: When were you last nervous?

Photo: Flickr / Katherine

Quiet Voice.

Yesterday I popped into Borders to look for a book. I had seen this guy on Oprah a while ago and he was an organisational genius. His name was Peter Walsh, and he was Australian. Got to love that.

Anyways. I knew his name. I didn't know the name of his books. So I went onto the computer and typed in his name. a few books came up, but their locations didn't. Just as I was about to scan the store for a helper, a guy walked by so I nabbed him and asked him to point me in the right direction.

The Guy scrolled through the listings. Typed in some passwords. Clicked this. Clicked that. And then said: Well, I know this one is in the self help section and this one is in the special diet section. Follow me.

Perplexed, I followed Guy to the self help section.

We scanned the shelves.There were plenty of other books: Self Defeating Behaviours. When Am I Going To Be Happy? Get Out Of Your Own Way. Women Who Worry Too Much. Learning To Love Yourself.

Me: I actually thought this book would be more in the house sections. It's about house cleaning and sorting out your stuff. Y'know like spring cleaning and sorting and cleaning... it's not really about self help....

Guy: Jim! (calls over another Border worker) This lady is trying to find these books by Peter Walsh. Have you heard of him?

Jim: Yeah. I'm sure I unpacked some of them when they came in. Come with me.

Guy: I'll just go and see if I can find them over there.

I follow Jim to the house section.

We scan the shelves to no avail.

Jim doesn't use his quiet voice like you would in a library. I know Borders isn't a library... but I try and use my quiet voice anyway. There's books around and it's the right thing to do.

Jim: I think Guy is over in the diet section looking for your book. It's not here in the house cleaning section. Guy! Did you find it over there?

Guy: I've got this one about making your butt look fat? Is that the one you wanted?

Me: I don't think so (taking the book anyway just to avoid any further unquiet voice usage by the two boys and further embarrassment). Perhaps this book is trying to tell me something anyway.

{Insert awkward giggle from all of us}

I took Lacey and the book into the kids section for five minutes to recover, shoved it in between Thomas the Tank Engine and Spot the Dog, and then made a quick exit out of the store.

Could looking for a book be anymore hilariously painful? I came out of the whole experience looking like a person in need of self-help and a diet, whilst in need of a good house clean. And Jim and Guy made sure that everyone in the store knew about it.

I think I'll shop online from now on. xx

Friday, I'm in love.

It's Friday today, and if it isn't where you are... well it will be soon. And that means that it's just a downhill slide into the weekend now. Yipppeeeeeeeee.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend planned. Don't forget to schedule in a bit of 'me' time, if possible. xx

Oh, and I promise to be a better blogger mate after this weekend. I promise to post more, as well as read and comment more on all my favourite blogs. xx

Photo: Aspidistra/Flickr

Lacey Mae: The First Year

For those that the video didn't work for yesterday, here is my second attempt. Enjoy.

Two Steps Back.

Monday night Lacey slept really well. We put her to bed around 6pm and she slept all the way until 4:30am. She did not make a single peep between those times... which is a miracle really.

Last night? Well. Not so good. Oh well.

I am trying to make a video of Lacey's first year. This is my first draft. The song is Sweet Child O Mine : Taken by Trees. Enjoy. x

Hello Monday.

Things are looking up. Lacey slept much better last night and was resettling herself within 30 seconds. That is AMAZING and completely unheard of prior to this weekend. She would scream her lungs out as soon as she stirred and I would come running in.

Now it's just a few little grizzles (nothing to write home about) and then she's back asleep. I feel so hopeful. I am sure that if I read my horoscopes today they would say: A good nights sleep is in your near future.

She's still in the sweet land of slumber as I type.

Here is to a wonderful week everyone. xx

Flickr Photo

Melancholy.

Disclaimer: I will stop talking about this at some point. I was hoping some point was going to be Monday when I had cracked the magic three day mark. I'm not so sure now.

Lacey's sleeping got worse after the first two nights. She was waking a LOT, and taking forever to go back to sleep. Like 2 hours, forever. I'd be so worked up after that 2 hours that I struggled to get to sleep, not to mention being anxious that she might wake again and I'd have to do it all again.

So we decided to do Operation: Settle. I went and saw my doctor and got a referral to Tresillian. She said I should just do it myself though because Tresillian has a huge wait list and I would have to take time off work to do it. So we talked about a plan and I decided I would set it into action that night (Friday). Usually it takes three nights of teaching her to self settle and then it gets easier.

Hubby was at work until midnight so I was doing it alone. She took a while to settle herself, and it was excruciating listening to her cry but she eventually settled by herself. The thing is though... she settled sitting up. She would fall asleep SITTING UP. So cute, and a little sad.

So I would go in and lie her down, pat her a little and she was asleep.

Anyways... tonight she has vomited everywhere. Vomiting isn't anything new for her. She likes to stick her fingers down her throat for attention. She did that last night. But tonight it wasn't from putting her fingers down her throat. It was something else. She doesn't have a fever, so I think she is well. I will have to keep an eye on her.

I'm just feeling completely melancholy. I don't like when Lacey is sick. I don't like seeing her sitting up asleep. I just wanted everything to go to plan. I think adding to this feeling is that my sister just got offered a role as a Director with a big International company today... which means she is moving to the States the day after Lacey's birthday. I don't want her to go.

I'm probably tired too, which isn't helping.

This is where I am at.

Boring, I know. xx

Etsy Print.

Tutu Cute.

I've always had in my mind that I'd love Lacey to wear a tutu for her first birthday. It will make for great photos. I had fun surfing the web checking out all the cute tulle and girly goodies. I have settled on this one. It's over the top, cute and will look great with a polka dot onesie that I already have. It's from this store here. xx

Dream Diva.

I have a few parties and things coming up over the next couple of weeks, and whilst I have been trying to not purchase anything until I lose more weight, I do need some clothes to get my through. I am loving this blue top from Dream Diva. It's quite cute, don't you think?

Letter to Lacey: Eleven Months

Wow. We've almost reached a whole year. I can't think about it too much. It makes me all emotional. It's been a big year. It's been the best year ever.

You've come out of your shell over the past month, not that you were ever hiding... but you're a real extrovert now. You're so cheeky. I have to hide my smiles as I try and teach you right from wrong.

Wrong is you trying to stand up in your high chair every time we put you in there. Actually trying isn't the right word, because despite the seat belt you stand up every single time. You do the same in the trolley at the supermarket.

I'll say to you - Uh uh. You just think that's funny, and then you copy me back with your own - Uh uh.

You're so cheeky that you'll do something that you know you shouldn't be and before I can say anything you shake your head to say no. The other day you were sitting on the ground, starting to eat cotton balls, shaking your head to say no. So cheeky. And disgusting.

You're a serial waver, just like me. Dadda laughs when we go on road trips because I will wave to any Tom, Dick or Harry just because I can. You are the same. You'll wave to anyone, and it wins you a lot of fans. You have people going crazy when you blow them kisses. They just melt.

You love music. You have the funniest dance moves. You do the stomp, which is swaying and stomping your left foot at the same time. That's your best move. When you're over excited you head bang which almost makes you lose your balance.

You love birds, although you think they say woof, woof. You'll point at them, say bird and then say woof, woof. I still have so much to teach you!

I love that I get to see you experience things for the first time. Like a simple butterfly floating through the sky. The taste of a scrumptious blueberry. Reading a new book. It makes me realise that this world is so new to you. This world is embracing you with open arms and it's yours to explore.

And I am here to explore it with you, every step of the way. xx

Particularly Pretty.

Last year I spent a lot of time in Baby Change Rooms. I was in there changing nappies, but more so feeding Lacey. She fed quite often so I couldn't have a trip to the shops without having to feed her once, perhaps twice (depending on how serious my shopping trip was!)

This week I ventured in to change a nappy and was pleasantly surprised that they'd had a makeover. Now I know some readers might be rolling their eyes here and starting to think I'm crazy... but it's nice to know that people are thinking of us Mama's. We like pretty things too. I've seen my fair share of crummy feeding rooms. Sometimes they don't feel particularly safe, or smell particularly nice, or look particularly pretty.

This one is designed really well. The butterflies are quite cute, the lighting nice and discreet and those little people mirrors are adorable.

Put down the phone. Stop calling 1800-CRAZY. I promise I won't take photos of public toilets.... well not this week, anyway. xx

Raindrops on Roses.

These are a few of my favourite things at the moment. xx

Beautiful print by Jennifer available here.

Seven.

I received this Meme from Sassy over at Mother Thoughts.

The Rules:
1. List these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.
3. Tell 7 unspectacular quirks about you.
4. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
5.Link the person who tagged you.
6.Leave a comment for each blogger.

It could be nice if you post a personal photo with this post. (I don't have many photos of my on this new computer, so this will have to do. It's from about 2 years ago, and is at a weight that I would like to be at again. That's my Sis with me).


7 Facts About Me.

1. I'm tall-ish. I've always thought I was tall anyway, until last year when a midwife said to me - you're not tall so I don't think Lacey will be. I was like... wha?
2. I can't sing. At all.
3. I'm a big kid at heart. When I'm with the kids we have the craziest times.
4. I collect erasers, buttons and coins.
5. I am addicted to stationery. I am lured in by the crisp clean pages with endless possibilities.
6. On my wedding night I lost my really expensive diamond earrings. I cried the next day when I realised they were probably swallowed up by the vacuum cleaner when housekeeping tidied the next day.
7. I hate talking on the phone.


7 Unspectacular Quirks About Me. (Aren't all these things unspectacular?)

1. I can't fold a fitted sheet. I end up bundling them up and tossing them in the cupboard.
2. I feel undone if I don't straighten my hair. It's just not right.
3. My feet are ugly.
4. I like falling asleep with the TV on, and do so when Hubby is on afternoon/night shift.
5. When I used to go out I would order a fire engine with vodka. When I next go out for a dance and drinks I will probably order one again.
6. I used to wear bronzer and mascara everyday before I had Lacey, without fail. Now I do it about three times a week when I can spare the 30 seconds it takes to apply it.
7. I don't mind saying how I feel. Better out than in, right?


Tag 7 People.
1. Vic Wilson
2. Cat Hearts Shoes
3. Frills in the Hills
4. She Will Have Her Way
5. Dachsboard
6. 30 Things
7. Court in the Middle

Evaluation.

Operation Sleep went down over the weekend.

There were tears.
There were tantrums.

All from me.

All day Friday I was trying to convince myself to call it all off. It was pathetic that I wasn't doing this all myself. It wasn't fair on Lacey. And it wasn't fair on my Ma and Sis, they needed their sleep too.

Friday night rolled around and it was all unfolding. It was time to say goodbye to Lacey. I found it so hard. I wanted just one more smooch. Just one more cuddle. Eventually I broke down in tears.

I'm such a sook.

I ran into an acquaintance on Friday. I was feel down and doubting my plans. I had a chat to her about operation sleep. She's a lovely lady. I was just feeling so blah and everything she said made me feel more... blah. She said that I should give up this (pointing to my breasts). She was old enough now and didn't need it anymore.

She also said that it was a bit mean to be leaving Lacey overnight. That bit stuck with me all weekend. It was like a record playing over and over in my head. Bad Mama.

I ended up getting in the car to drive to Ma's house for the night. I put my Sarah McLachlan CD on, turned it up loud and just cried.

I'm such a sook.

Ma's linen was so nice and crisp, yet soft at the same time. Ma's always have the best stuff, don't they?

I woke a lot on the first night. I kept checking my phone to see if I had missed a call, or a message. Lacey hardly woke at all back at home.

The second night I slept like a log. Lacey was up partying for most of the night. She was happy, playing games with Ma and Sis.

Last night Hubby and I were on duty and Lacey was a star little sleeper. She only woke twice... and the first time was because I went in to fix her blanket and accidentally woke her up.

Lacey loved having all her people around. She had a great weekend, and I'm not a bad Mama. I really had nothing to worry about.

I hope tonight is even better. xx

Photo from Flickr.

The person formerly known as Chantelle.

The person formerly known as Chantelle... has returned.

I feel like my old self. I have two good-ish nights of sleep under my belt, and I feel almost normal.

I was saying to my Ma yesterday that I didn't realise how bad sleep deprivation actually affected me. Lately my brain has felt so sluggish. My whole being has felt like that. It's harder to make decisions. It's harder to focus. It's hard to even think. I feel slow.

But now... I feel light. I feel focused. I feel sharp. I feel happy.

See what the sky looks like outside today? That's how I feel. Sunny, bright, happy.

I have my sense of humour back. We spent the weekend laughing so much we nearly collapsed in a heap. We had tears rolling down our faces. It was the best weekend. The best.

More on it all tomorrow. I just had to come in and share this feeling, because tomorrow it all might be lost and all just a faded memory as I return to Mama night duty.

For now though... bliss. xx